Conference Talk of the Week

Overview

Elder Alfred Kyungu takes up President Dallin H. Oaks's April 2026 invitation to stop contention and use "the language and methods of peacemakers," and he treats it as a call to discipleship, not a suggestion. He reviews what the scriptures teach about speech: Proverbs, the Savior's warning that we will give account for every idle word, and Paul's counsel to speak with grace and to build others up. He then gives two concrete lists. One holds hurtful phrases to give up, such as "You never listen" and "This is all your fault." The other holds peaceful phrases to use instead, such as "Let us slow down and talk," "I'm sorry," and "Let us start again." Because "out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaketh," he teaches that lasting change in our words begins when we fill our hearts with the doctrine of Christ.

Three Key Takeaways

• 1Elder Kyungu treats President Oaks's invitation to forgo contention as prophetic direction, so changing how you speak is part of following Jesus Christ and not just good manners.
• 2The scriptures he cites (Proverbs 6, Matthew 12:36–37, Ephesians 4:29, Colossians 4:6) show that words carry moral weight, because by our words we will be justified or condemned and our speech can either minister grace or sow discord.
• 3Many common phrases, especially ones built on "always" and "never" or ones that assign blame like "You caused this problem," weaken love and respect even when they are said in frustration, so they need to be identified by name and given up.

Reflection Questions

• Which phrases from Elder Kyungu's list of words to forgo do you hear yourself say most often, and with whom do you usually say them?
• Think of a time someone's discouraging words hurt you. How might that memory help you choose your words more carefully with the people you love?
• Which phrase from his peacemaker list, such as "We can work this out" or "I don't want this to divide us," would most change a tense relationship in your life right now?