Conference Talk of the Week

Overview

Elder Clark G. Gilbert teaches that disciples of Jesus Christ must hold to truth and show love at the same time, not choose one over the other. He builds on five principles President Dallin H. Oaks taught at an Ensign College devotional. The five are: avoid overly contentious settings, find common ground first, be a light, hold to truth even in outreach, and stay anchored in Jesus Christ. He tells of his own failures and successes, including an angry reply to a struggling friend and two hours spent listening in one home during a ministering visit. Before he begins, he asks listeners to look for their own weaknesses rather than make a mental list of others who need the message.

Three Key Takeaways

• 1Sometimes the right response in a heated moment is to stay quiet with dignity. Elder Gilbert won an argument with a friend who was attacking the Church, but he lost the Spirit and failed to help him. He also learned that what looks like hostility may be hidden pain or regret.
• 2Listening first builds common ground, and that makes room to teach later. On one ministering visit he spent nearly two hours listening to five people with different concerns. Afterward, each of them accepted his invitation to stake conference.
• 3The best way to help someone keep their covenants is to keep your own. Elder Gilbert stepped back from a tense discussion with academic leaders. Later, a university chancellor asked him for counsel on a course about character.

Reflection Questions

• When you stand for truth, do you tend to lean toward conviction or toward charity, and which one do you need more of right now?
• Think of someone whose words about the Church have frustrated you. What hidden pain or regret might be behind those words?
• Is there a conversation where staying quiet or listening longer would have helped more than winning the point?