Opening question
Think of a time someone said just a few words to you that changed your whole day, for good or for bad. You don't need to share who said them. What made those few words carry so much weight?
Relief Society · Elders Quorum · 25 minutes
Using the Language of PeacemakersRelief Society & Elders Quorum lesson
Elder Alfred Kyungu · Of the Seventy · Sunday Morning Session
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A 25-minute class
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Following President Oaks's invitation, Elder Kyungu teaches that disciples of Jesus Christ set aside harsh words and replace them with words that build confidence and keep relationships whole, starting with what fills their hearts.
Skip walking through every scripture Elder Kyungu cites (Proverbs, Ephesians, Colossians, the hymn); read only Matthew 12:34 about the heart and the mouth, and leave the rest for members to study at home.
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Before Sunday
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Sunday: the language of peacemakers
This Sunday we will discuss Elder Alfred Kyungu's October 2026 talk, "Using the Language of Peacemakers." He lists words that damage relationships and words that heal them, such as "Let us slow down and talk" and "I don't want this to divide us." Read his two lists if you can. Which phrase from his peaceful list would make the biggest difference in your home this week?
Pick one opening
Opening question
Think of a time someone said just a few words to you that changed your whole day, for good or for bad. You don't need to share who said them. What made those few words carry so much weight?
Story hook
Elder Kyungu tells us that after President Oaks invited the Church in April 2026 to use "the language and methods of peacemakers," he started pondering how to act on it. He treated it as a spiritual exercise: find the phrases he needed to stop using, then choose words to replace them. He compared it to the converted Lamanites who buried their weapons of war for peace. Today we can do the same exercise with our own words.
Teach this first
Replacing harsh words with words that bring peace
Elder Kyungu teaches that words like "You never listen" or "This is all your fault" weaken love and damage relationships, so disciples choose words like "We can work this out" and "I'm sorry" instead. Because "out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaketh" (Matthew 12:34), lasting change in our speech comes when we fill our hearts with the doctrine of Christ.
"We must choose language that strengthens confidence and preserves relationships." (Elder Alfred Kyungu)
Ask the class
- 1.Look at Elder Kyungu's two lists. Which harsh phrase do people slip into most easily when they are tired or frustrated, and what would you say instead?
- 2.Why do you think he says the change has to start in the heart and not only in what we choose to say?
If time remains
Repairing harm that harsh words have already done
Elder Kyungu invites us to repent for harsh language that has offended family, friends, leaders, or coworkers, and to pray for peaceful communication even when our opinions differ.
Ask the class
- 1.What makes "I'm sorry," "Please forgive me," or "Let us start again" hard to say, and what helps you say them anyway?
Counsel together
Quorum / Relief Society business
- •Where in our ward do people disagree in ways that could pull us apart, and how can we use the language of peacemakers in those conversations?
- •Who in our quorum or Relief Society may need to hear "You are not alone" or "I am here for you" this week, and who will reach out?
Last 3–5 minutes
Close
This week, choose one phrase from Elder Kyungu's peaceful list and use it on purpose with someone at home or work, especially during a tense moment.
Elder Kyungu teaches that as we follow Jesus Christ this way, we will feel His peace and can become instruments of His peace in the world.
Your witness: Share briefly how Jesus Christ, the Prince of Peace, has changed the way you speak to someone, or how someone's peaceful words blessed you.